You have a service dog? What is wrong with you? Or what not to say to service dog teams, ever!

Today I was stopped by a overtly nosey woman as I was trying to finish picking up some prescriptions at the pharmacy.  She grabbed my left arm [ the arm I have the PICC line inserted into it just above my elbow. ]  The physical grab was startling and it hurt to have her wrap her fingers around my PICC site - I am going on 5 weeks now and the skin around my site has become blistered and inflamed. So touching anywhere around the site hurts me.  I don't try to hide my PICC line any more - I learned the hard way from people grabbing my arm that is is safer to have them notice it and stare instead of grasping and squeezing an inflamed site.  I wear a very visible layering of tights and stretch mesh over my PICC line this holds the extra tubing close to my arm and helps keep the tubing from being pulled free and dragging though a place that could cut the line, crimp the line or damage the line or put bacteria into the line.  So my left arm always has a long white or brightly colored sleeve to help people see there is a long PICC line in that arm and to not touch it.  It is very obvious that I have a special sleeve with mesh and tubing on my left arm. So much so that people often stare at it, or ask me if I was in a fire.  But I prefer them being aware of the PICC and not touching me.  Squeezing a PICC line site can cause serious problems, it can move the line in the artery and throw a clot into my heart - which can cause death. So I really do prefer to not have anyone touch that arm especially on the PICC site.  

Ellie and I in our yoga position - you can clearly see the
bandage sleeve and the tubing.  The white sleeve is somewhat
 see thru so you can even see where the PICC line site it by
 the colored plastic and the purple line.

Well the nosey woman today wanted to talk to me about my service dog.  She was one of those people who does not just ask you about your dog but then crosses boundaries and starts to ask me about my medical condition. She wanted to keep talking but I was tired and I politely thanked her for her compliment on our team's good behavior and excused myself to finish my errand so I could return home to rest.  

Well she was not satisfied that I said I was tired and needed to go.  She followed after me and reached out to grab my arm. It was startling and painful and I let out a yelp and winced with her grab. As I yelped Ellie turned to face her and moved into a rear block to get between her and me.  The lady stood dumbfounded and turned her head to look at what her fingers were feeling; the hard plastic disc of the Stat Lock that holds my line securely in place under the large Tagaderm dressing. Obviously she was surprised to feel the hard plastic and then the tube coming out of my arm.   

As if it could not get any worse, she stood there holding my inflamed arm and spouted out, "OMG, what is that thing in your arm?"  

She squeezed again and I again yelped and immediate swiped her hand away from my arm.  At that moment Ellie reacted and began to let out a low growl.  I then backed up three steps pulled Ellie back into Heal position and started too walk away and she followed me again: calling after me, "I thought service dogs are not supposed to growl at people. What was that?!?"  

Then her voice turned shrill as she blurted out in a really snide accusatory tone,  "that is not a real dog is it, be honest you just bought the vest, right, you bought that vest . . I know, I know I have wanted to do it too.  Where did you get the vest, I wanna get a vest too so I can take my little doggie with me everywhere too just like you?!?" 

By this point I know my face was red, my arm was throbbing and I was close to white hot rage. I turned back and said with the iciest voice I could muster, devoid of any emotion and focused like a laser to try and pierce the fog in her brain.  "She is a real dog and indeed a certified service dog with thousands of hours of training, and the growl was a reaction to the assault you perpetrated on my person by grabbing my arm.  You are now interfering with the work of a service animal and that is a felony crime so please step away from us and leave us alone or I will call the police."  

She was outraged that I was standing holding firm, she began to prattle on with, "I never assaulted you, I barely touched your arm thing, what ever that is  . . . . I just wanted to know where you got your vest so I can take my little dog with me too, jeez!"

I can tell you it took every bit of training and life experience to not rip into her and verbally lacerate her into to ribbons.  But instead I took a breath and moved away.  As I passed her, I said in an even more icy voice, "trying to pass off a pet as a service dog is also a crime, a felony. A service dog must be prescribed by a doctor for a medical condition that requires the use of the dog in order to function.  So when you are saying you want to make your pet a service dog so he can go with you everywhere - you are really saying I wish I had your terminal medical condition.  I would gladly give you all the pain and and anguish my medical condition causes me in my life so you can have a better understanding of how inappropriate and utterly rude and hurtful what you just said was." 

Then I tapped my hip and said, "Ellie heal," and we walked as fast as my shaky legs could get me out of that store.  The manager followed me out and caught up with me on the curb and asked if I was ok. I was shaking and apparently extremely upset. The manager was kind and asked if he could assist me.  The manager had seen the tail end of the confrontation and was appalled at the woman's behavior, and I told him unfortunately these kind of confrontations are frequent with service dog teams.  He offered a heart felt apology and walked with me to my van.

Jeff Helping me plug into my IV pump.

When Ellie and I got to the van I opened the side door and commanded her to load and I crawled in after her and curled up on the floor of the van next to her and she started to lick my face. Ellie knew how upset I was and was doing her level best to get me calm again. When I got inside the van with the door closed I noticed my whole body was shaking and I broke down in tears.  I don't know how long we stayed curled up on the van floor but it was a while.  We just sat curled up together breathing and doing our puppy yoga and slowly I calmed down. It took some time before I could pull my self together enough to get up and out and into the passenger seat.  Jeff had stayed in the van, he was also exhausted and was trying to catch a nap after class while I waited for the prescription to fill inside.  When I climbed in the van it woke him and he was disturbed by how upset I was.  His protector gene kicked in and he started to try and get out to go find the woman - but I stopped him and asked him to just stay with me until I could be calm.  My hands were still shaking the entire ride home.  We got inside the house and Jeff fixed me some hot tea and got me and Ellie comfortable on the couch with our blanket, and hooked up to my IV pump in our snuggle position so we could rest.  Bless him and bless Ellie.

Ellie and I settling into rest and be connected
my IV pump, I have to be connected for most
of the day, basically when ever I am home
I have to be hooked up.

This type of confrontation happens all the time to those of us with service dogs, usually not this overt and over the top - but many times people are clueless to the kind of distress the inappropriate questions about our medical conditions or comments about how they want to get a vest so their pup can go with them everywhere too, can be for us.  

You see whenever some one says they think having a service dog is cool and they want a vest so they can have their dog with them everywhere too.  They don't understand what it feels like to those of us who have a medical condition that requires a service dog. - it is tantamount to saying: 

"Wow how cool is it for you to have you have cancer, you get to wear all those fun wigs!"
 or 
"Neat, I wish I had a terminal condition that causes incredible pain and suffering too, so I could ride on that cool scooter"
 or 

"I wish everything in the world brought up mind shattering memories of death and destruction so I can't stand to leave my room, and could just sit at home never leaving"
  
I don't think anyone in their right mind would walk up to a blind person and say, "I wish I could not see so I could use that cool cane," or approach someone in a wheelchair and exclaim, "it would be so awesome to not have legs so I could ride around in a chair like that."

Service dogs are MEDICALLY NECESSARY for their handlers to be able to function out in the world.  They are an extension of the person and function to help that person navigate the world with their disability. Without their dog they cannot do the things in life most people take for granted.    

Ellie watches over me as I sleep.

So it is in no way cool to tell someone with a service dog that you wish you could have your dog with you too and be just like them.  And no matter how curious you are about the disability is that the person with the service dog is living with, it is never ok to ask what is "wrong" with them.  Medical conditions are personal and private.  You would not like someone walking up to you at the store checkout line and talk about all the embarrassing things you don't want the general public to know about your body, so don't ask people to talk about theirs.  You should only ever ask two questions to someone with a service dog: 

1. Is that a service dog?

2. What tasks does the dog do for
you?

If they are comfortable with discussing their medical condition they will tell you when they describe the tasks their service dog is trained to perform for them.  

And Ellie gets to sleep too.

I know that Ellie and I are a magnet for attention where ever we go - she is a cute, attractive, well trained dog and I have the "talk to me" gene.  I also know we are ambassadors for all service dog teams when ever we are out in the world, and especially around home we are walking advertisements for Operation Freedom Paws. But most of all I know that where ever I go when I walk in anywhere the simple fact that I have a service dog tells everyone in the room that I have a serious disability and there is no way to blend in. 

Usually I am prepared and happy to talk about service dogs, the training and the Operation Freedom Paws program but there are some days when it is all I can do to just get in the store grab the prescription and get out. On those days I try my best to be polite when I say I cannot talk today.  

Today was off the charts crazy. . .